Why the final installation of the Twilight Saga was the best yet, but somehow still terrible.
When it comes to the Twilight series, I did it wrong. I started with Breaking Dawn Part 1, and moved backward. Watching the story in reverse, it slowly got more boring. The final two movies were definitely the most action packed. The first one sucked. I don’t even know the name. Twilight? Yes, that must be it. It took like an entire movie for her to realize Edward is a vampire. I was confused to see Bella slowly morph from pregnant and almost dead to young and naive. Also, watching Jacob turn into a hot, Native-American lesbian.
In the most recent film, Bella is finally a badass. She can protect herself (for once), and I love her graceful exit from the damsel in distress position, so that her creepy CGI baby Renesmee can fill the space. The special effects team obviously struggled to make this demon child look beautiful. It looks okay, but never actually looks like a human. It seems they morphed and created Renesmee’s face in order to portray her growing up in a ridiculously short amount of time. Even when the casting director found an adorable little actress, 12 year-old Mackenzie Foy, they still over-animate her face.
I understand that everything has to be perfect, from their baby, to their cabin, to their wedding. The Twilight world exists in some bizarro high definition Pacific Northwest where life itself is cut from the pages of a Pottery Barn catelog. So “perfect” that I want to vomit. I get it, you are overwhelmingly beautiful and loved in your beautiful house. Where is the heart? If things are too glowing, I lose interest. A touch of reality would have done this film, especially the CGI Chucky doll, some good.
Moving past the baby, I enjoyed the film. There were moments where they actually poke fun at themselves, showing genuine nostalgia for the series end. I am not surprised that this Twilight film was the highest grossing of all, the box office alone coming in at an estimated $751.09 million worldwide.
SPOILER ALERT: The only reason I am spoiler alerting is because this pissed me off. The most action packed, violent, intense, sad, emotional 9 minutes of the entire series never actually happened. It was a future flash-forward, showing the bad guy his inevitable death if they were to fight. It was almost a disappointment that they didn’t kill off all of those characters. I was excited to see some suffering, I was like yes, finally, reality. But no. Sike. Everyone’s fine, the bad guys walk away.
So the happily ever after ending is that Jacob, who “imprinted” on the baby Renesmee, ends up with her. Creepy. This is why he was so infatuated with Bella, the entire time he really fell in love with one of her eggs. But Renesmee grows up really fast, until she’s hot, then lives forever. So it’s less creepy? I’m not sure.
This is the final film for the Twilight clan. I wonder if Stephanie Meyer will continue to write conservative Mormon apocalyptic tween novels. Let’s cross our fingers and pray that she won’t!