New Years Resolutions and Why They Do Not Work
Everyone knows the story. The cliche weight loss goals that you never stick to. The New Year promises hope, to kill your old habits and become better at love, at work, at life. But I believe the entire notion of change and resolutions is flawed. Why do we, year after year, set ourselves up to be disappointed?
It is because the concept of a resolution, a distant “you” in the future who is better at life, is an illusion. There is no possible way to attain this future you. By setting the time frame and the distance from who you are in the present, you will consistently feel you have not reached your goal. You have to be entirely, 100%, non-sarcastically happy with who you are at this moment. Otherwise, you will be chasing the concept of perfect “future you” for the next 20 years.
While we have been taught that goal-setting is a healthy act, it has its cons. For example, working toward the life you want is healthy. But it is the idea that you’ll be happy- no longer stressed, no longer desiring of something- is unhealthy. If you spend your entire life just out of reach of the perfect you, then it will never come. Regardless of the holiday weight you put on, or your desire to find a better job, whatever your resolution may be, you are still perfect. In this moment, you are enough. The failure to accept that you are enough just as you are is the reason resolutions never last. You’ll become so down on yourself for not reaching the elusive “future you”, you are unable to see you already have it. You have to feel the good feeling of achieving these goals now.
So instead of blaming yourself for the failure to reach these goals, you should blame the distance. Anywhere but the present moment is an illusion. You currently have the perfect body, that 6-pack you’ve always wanted. It is already yours. As Osho, philosopher and guru, so simply put it–
Be – don’t try to become.
If you file a resolution or goal in the distant future category of life, that is where it will stay. You’ll be “trying” to lose weight forever. You’ll be searching for this solution to make you whole. Don’t let another year go by while you blame yourself for not getting there yet. Here’s the point: there is no there. You already are everything you desire. The problem with resolutions is the “future” aspect, the distance. When you realize that the moment is all you have, it becomes a space where your goals can be attained. I believe in progress, not one quick-fix New Years resolution to cure all of life’s woes. Progress will happen if you are invested in the moment. And it will be amazing.